A Special Mother’s Day Teleseminar:
How to Stay Raw in a Cooked Food Family
This week I needed to call in the reinforcements! I was having a tough time preparing myself for the 6-Week Detox that’s OFFICIALLY kicking into a gear on Monday! As promised, part of my commitment to the 90-Day Detox is to have an inspiring guest every week.
Well, it would be tough for me to think of someone who can inspire me more than this charmer:
Here she is in full color–my super duper amazing and most wonderful friend, Angela Elliott to spark up the stage with her good vibrations and amazing support to women (and cool men that hang out around here) who are trying to stick to the Raw Food Diet while still having family members that request cooked food.
This is NOT an easy thing to undertake, as most of us realize, it’s awfully difficult to resist temptation for something being wafted under the nose.
So, hope you can tune if for this teleseminar. It’s a Mother’s Day Special! We wanted to think of something that would be a boost to the moms out there. We’re also going to have a special gift for people who listen to the call. If you can’t make it, the recording will be available. I know this call with be LOADED with helpful hints and great ideas for quick recipes to help battle the cravings when the smell of lasagna starts lingering under your nose!!
CLICK HERE to access this teleseminar call and PLEASE go ahead and send in your questions for Angela!!
May 8th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
I tried to go 50% raw with my diet but it proved a major burden on my relationship with my meat and potatoes boyfriend. He was very unsupportive and defensive about the whole thing. You would have thought I asked him to go raw. We fought constantly over the increase in cost in our grocery bill and he would rarely ever try anything I made that wasn’t cooked. He refused to help pay for any of the grocery bill he deemed “your food” but still wanted to eat half of it anyway (such as fruits he liked, veggies he wanted to use in sandwiches or make as side dishes, salad fixings every so often, etc.). He still expected me to pay for half of the foods I was trying to cut out of my diet though, foods he wanted, some of which we usually shared which I was now trying to limit but most were foods I never ate anyway, I just didn’t use to fuss about helping to pay for them since I thought we were partners in life etc. The grocery bill ended up being more than I could afford, no matter how I tried to work it out (i.e. farmers markets) and it ended up taking up more of my time than I could spare driving all over to two or three different places just to save money here and there. My boyfriend also still expected me to make him his usual cooked meals along with my raw meal. Now I was buying two or three times the groceries I used to, driving to several different stores to get everything I needed and I was cooking and preparing double the amount of food I usually do. I work full time and have a part time job on the side so I felt overwhelmed, like I was spending all of my time working, grocery shooping and making food. It was too much. We fought about the raw food diet constantly and it was really wearing on our relationship. I just couldn’t afford to keep it up financially, physically or mentally. Slowly but surely I began reverting back to our old ways. Our relationship improved of course, the more I caved the better things got between us and it is back on track now that I have succumbed completely. My money troubles are also improving and I have more time again to myself but my health goals are far from being reached. How do you reach that healthy, happy balance between trying to change your lifestyle and health for the better without killing the part of your current life that you love? How do you get the best of both? Do I need to break up with my boyfriend in order to eat healthier and not go broke doing it? Or is there a happy medium somewhere that can be met? It seems to take a lot of time, effort and money to eat this way, does it ever get easier and more affordable?
May 8th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Amber, if that had been written by a good friend what would you say to them?
if you read through what you have written, your answers are already there.
Do you want to be high raw and healthy? yes! how much do you want it?
why are you your boyfriends chef? Pleasing companion? Caring partner?Desperate peacemaker? if this is waht you want, great. However, a bright, articulate,energetic Gal(it is all there in your letter) can stay with this “improved” relationship at the expense of her own hopes and dreams or she can go to a relationship counseller with him or she can be her own best friend and realise that boyfriends come and go and there are wonderful men who know that love is about helping the people they care about follow their dreams. Life is constantly changing, it is wonderful whatever you do please live your life for Your great benefit
May 8th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
the boy friend is not worth it. He ic a control freak and wheneve you branch out on your own he will behave the same way. Get rid of him.
May 8th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
I just don’t like the sound of that relationship. I’m not sure what I’d recommend but it seems like you are living with this man without being really sure that this person is a good match.
May 8th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Amber, my husband is the same way. I can feed him healthy “whole foods” but he doesn’t like green smoothies, no matter how much fruit I put in it. It’s the green-ness he objects to. Everything I choose to put in the smoothies are things he likes and eats anyway. So, I just let him choose. I cook him what he likes, but I make small portions. He lets me do as I choose and he eats some things I make, he just doesn’t want to do 100% raw nor gluten-free. We both eat low fat, so that’s helpful.
For me, my relationship with my husband is more important to me than fighting to be 100% raw. We’ve both found our comfort levels and have chosen to live in peace. I truly feel that any food becomes toxic to the body when your emotions/thought life are toxic. Just my opinion. I also am making the choice to not live in fear. We have been given amazing bodies that make adjustments all the time to keep us alive… Pretty much amazing!
This may not be helpful or of interest to anyone else, but this is the path I have chosen and am comfortable with. Also, I am not overcoming any health issues, or needing to lose weight, at this time. That would cause both of us to have to make some more adjustments.
Communication is critical. Maybe finding out what is so objectionable to your boyfriend might be helpful. To see where he is coming from, might help you find ways over, around or through this situation.
Thank you, Tera, for arranging the call with Angela. I am very blessed with an incredibly supportive family. They will make concessions for me and my food choices. My kids have already asked me what I would like to eat for special lunch for Mom’s Day. The kids eat wholesome foods, but not 100% raw, but are flexible with my choices. I never take these things for granted. So, in fairness, I give in to places they would like to eat or foods they want for special days. Relationships are so much more important to “me” than what I do or don’t eat.
Well, that’s just my two-cents’ worth.
Hope every mom has a wonderful weekend. Enjoy,
Vanetta
Thanks so much for laying it all out here, Amber. Thanks, Everyone, for your feedback!
I totally understand what you’re saying and look forward to answering some of these questions on the call on Sunday!
Aren’t we a team!
xo
Tera
May 8th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
Jane said: ….”Love is about helping the people they care about follow their dreams” That says it all, Tera!!!!! Today I was reading comments about Angela Stokes new book. I had ordered it way before it was printed. As I was reading about the book, the mail lady dorpit in my mail chute! Talk about Synchronicity!!! And what a book! Everything about it is fabulous, soft, true, comforting, magic!
Warm thoughts!!!
Charlotte
I saw Sebastian’s beautiful video! So charming he is, you can be so proud!
May 8th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
Forgot: my daughter Marion will be serving an all raw meal for Mother’s day! Her in-laws will be there also, they have issues so I am proud too! Charlotte
May 8th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
~Amber….
~One of the AMAZING things that come from eating RAW…. is the purity & clarity of mind & body. It literally CHANGES your life. Key word here is CHANGE.
~One of the very best things a person can do for themselves, is put themselves around supportive & empowering people.
~RAW FOODS teaches more than diet…
Brightest Blessings !!! xxo Denise~*
May 8th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Thank you, Tera! Hubby and the boys haven’t joined me with the “raw thing” yet, so it will be wonderful to hear Angela’s tips on how to be successful with this.
Blessings,
Gypsy Queen
May 8th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Amber–Good luck with your situation! My boyfriend of 6 years was uncomfortable with the raw thing at first, but now he’s totally fine with it
It just (a) was super-important for us to talk everything through–it turned out that he had legitimate concerns about me not being able to participate in social occasions involving food, so we just needed to talk through all that; (b) took time for him to get used to me doing something SO different; (c) took him a while to serious that I was serious about it and now he knows and respects how important it is to me; and (d) he now knows that it works 
. I think the most important thing is to have an honest and open conversation to really understand each other’s points of view. Only after all that, if he can’t meet you half-way, then there are problems…but oftentimes the real problem is just a lack of communication…kinda like the post Tera made recently on this very issue 
Best of luck! Hugs
May 8th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
A P.S.
I’ve found that the real issue for me is not whether my partner is raw, but whether he supports me in being raw and otherwise supports me in being the best version of myself that I can be
SUPPORT makes the biggest difference 
May 9th, 2009 at 7:45 am
I just wanted to add a little more to this wonderful conversation. I think whenever a person makes a “radical” change it can be threatening to the “status quo”. For example, just like in Amber’s situation, when I first went raw, my husband (like Amber’s boyfriend) seemed resistant – almost hostile. He almost did a 180 in his personal eating habits. My son, of course, imitated Daddy. It was a very stressful time. However, I held my ground and continued to involve myself in the raw food lifestyle. I opted to quietly “be the change”. I didn’t pressure Mark or Lucas to change their eating habits. Slowly but surely they each started to try and then to request more and more raw foods. Mark and I also had several sessions with a Life Coach/Counselor to address some of the underlying issues (e.g., fear of change). Fast forward to today: Neither of “my boys” is raw…or even vegetarian for that matter. However, they totally accept my food choices and are open to trying new things. Both of their diets are much healthier than they were. Both help with the shopping and food prep.
Bottom line: do what’s right for YOU but try to look at the situation from the other person’s perspective. Approach him with understanding and love. Realize that he’s probably afraid he might lose you (the you he knows). As so many others have already stated, keeping the lines of communication open is essential – and that goes BOTH ways.
I’m really looking forward to the call!
Bright Blessings,
Karyn
May 9th, 2009 at 8:25 am
I used to be 100% raw, and prepared two meals, one for my SAD family and one for me. At first I was teased, but as time went on, I received more and more support. My husband tried just a few things, and he still LOVES green smoothies and often requests them. Everything fell apart for me when I went back to school at 42 years young. I no longer had the time to prepare two meals, one for them and one for me. My family will not go raw. I want to stay raw. I know that I don’t need to prepare elaborate meals for myself and I could make this a lot easier. It feels overwhelming though, and I just cannot deal with that right now. I realize that I would be able to hanlde the stress of being a student better if I could get back to my raw foods. Why did I give in so quickly and why is it sooooo hard to go back to raw?
May 9th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
If this registration is going to put me on someone else’s mailing list, please cancel it. I have 450 e-mails that I can’t get to, including yours. Thank you, Starlin
May 9th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Hi dear Divas,
I’m in for doing green smoothies Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. I needed the push to get into greens. I always feel soooo good. Thanks Tera, for
this challenge. Wishing you all the best.
Looking forward to hearing Angela tomorrow. I went to her website and she’s got some fabulous recipes. Can’t wait. Thanks Tera for organizing
the seminar!!!
Spinach Smiles,
Sharee
You don’t have to register for this call.
You just click the link and listen.
No registration necessary.
xo
Tera
May 10th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Tee hee….Tera, if you are allowed to kick our butts into gear, are we allowed to kick your butt when you don’t post on the blog…?? JK! Love reading what’s up for you and getting that daily dose of inspiration
Hope all is well for you! 
May 10th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
[...] is our teleseminar with Angela Elliott on how to stay raw in a cooked food family. Hopefully she’ll have some good tips for us this evening. Here’s a link to the [...]
May 10th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
[...] Elliott and I will be giving a teleseminar on what it takes to survive as a Raw Foodist in a Cooked Food Family. You can join us by logging into this page tonight around 9pm EST. If you happen to miss the call, [...]
May 10th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Hi Tera,
Hope you have enjoyed a wonderful Mother’s Day with your family!
You deserve it. It’s almost time for Angela.
Thanks for all you do,
Sharee